The Trust Parents with a Disabled Child have for Professionals.

     

     Over two decades ago, I joyously became pregnant with my first child. At this time, I was a youngish special education teacher, teaching in a private, residential school for children who were dually diagnosed with intellectual disabilities and emotional disturbance. Despite their disabilities which sometimes caused them to have episodes of impetuosity causing mayhem amongst themselves and others, I adored these children.  They had the most outgoing and endearing personalities. Eventually all who work with these children learn their triggers and physical signs that precede their pernicious moments. We learn tricks of the trade that lessen the incidents of pandemonium. Oddly, it never occurred to me that I could have a disabled child. One would think that since this was my career path I would be fearful of having a disabled child. I however genuinely cared for these children. I saw them as unique individuals who made every day brighter. As Meryl Streep once said, "What makes you different or weird-that's your strength." She is right.
     Since this was a residential setting, I rarely saw the parents. Some of them no longer had parents because they just couldn't handle their child's total uniqueness. Either way, I have to applaud these parents as I do any parent with a disabled child. When one has a disabled child, they are facing new ground of the unknown. Bookstores are filled with books on how to parent normal children. but not much is written on how to care for a disabled child. I can't begin to imagine the numbing fear of giving birth to a child who is disabled. These parents have no choice but to trust the professionals who are working with their children. Giving up that control has to be terrifying. Regardless of the situation parents love their babies. Eventually most parents learn all about their child through the trials and tribulations of raising them. Still, throughout their child's life, they must jump through hoops going to each new professional in their child's life, and again and again explaining all of the things that makes their child meet his or her maximum potential. Doing this again and again takes so much courage and strength. Each time, they are handing their "baby" over to someone they just met. Some parents can't handle this so they make the decision to let go and let those who they perceive as having more knowledge than they do become guardians to their child. Either way, courage and tenacity are involved.

     All parents the fear of letting go. The fear of the first day of daycare, kindergarten, middle school, high school, and college. Imagine if your child can't speak clearly or at all. This magnifies the fear. Imagine too that your child perceives the world slightly differently than it actually is. What does a parent to then? I have a few bits of advice:

1) Keep the communication line between your child' s professionals and yourself open. Have a journal that travels    between home and school. 

2) Make frequent  phone calls. Ask the professional to call  you when  changes in your child are noticed.

3) Listen carefully to your child and their professional. If  you have questions ask them. If you need a second  opinion get one.

4) Don't be a bully. A parent who bullies makes everyone shut down including the child.

 5) Remember the child is at the heart of the matter. The professionals who work with your child dedicate their lives to this profession because they believe in making a difference for you, and your child.

       
       In the end, it's not only the parents with disabled children who have fear for their child. Parenting is difficult. There will be times in every parents life when they have to put their child in an unknown person's capable hands and trust them to give the best advice. Just remember as the parent, you may ask as many questions as you need to to get the right answer for your child. Also, not every professional will have the approach that your child needs, the professional already knows this, it's not a one size fits all world. Fear not getting second opinions. Do what is right for you and your child, while staying in control and thinking through your challenge in a respectful manner. In the end everyone will benefit from your diligence and conviction, especially your child. 

Reading Beyond the Classroom: The Reading Chain Challenge

   

A little over a month ago I left my dream job to begin a new chapter in a similar position in a different state! I spent many sleepless nights trying to decide if this was the right thing to do. I fought myself because my whole life I generally took the road less travelled. This was once again, the road less travelled! I have always looked out for others before myself. I cheered for the underdog because I believe that all people deserve a chance in life no matter what their home circumstances are like. I grew up watching Walt Disney films where the underdog always wins. Now, I was leaving an amazing group of children who usually gave me their best work. Children who followed my every whim. Children who trusted me to take care of them and guide their education. In our short time together, we all became stars. We didn't sit quietly alone in our special education classroom. We emerged during our time together. We were in the newspaper several times and made television news on two stations. How did we do this? We did this by working hard for others and in the process building our own confidence and academic skills. We made memories that last a lifetime. I learned more from these kids than I ever did in any higher education classroom. In the end, I didn't want to be just one more person walking out of their lives. Saying goodbye was hard. As my assistant reminded us, this goodbye was forever. At the time I thought this word "forever" was going to break my heart! 
    My first day in my new position, I was greeted by two amazing paraeducators and a new classroom of children. Beginning a new position in the middle of a school year is an unique challenge. My new students were unsure about me, rightfully so. I of course thought of the children that I left behind. I always say "once my student always my student". I found myself using many of the same techniques that I used in my previous position. Techniques that my former students helped me to hone. In my first month in my new position I have learned so much. I have learned, that just like students, teachers are always learning too. I still have so much to learn. I am grateful for this. I still get excited when learning new skills and techniques. 
    It's been a month. My new students were curious about my former students. They asked lots of questions about them. In this month , I have gradually blended my brand of teaching to my new classroom. We decided to make a reading chain like the one my former students in room 215 have started. Then we decided to challenge the room 215 kids into a reading challenge to see which class can read the most books by the end of the school year! My new students in room 10 kept track of their books read this school year, so we made a reading chain like the one in room 215! The challenge is on! 
   "Forever" isn't forever! Two groups of teens who come from different worlds have come together to compete for the top reading title! The prize, a pizza party for the winning classroom. The real prize: teaching students that reading is fun and is a skill that takes us all beyond the classroom. The goal: to make better readers, one link at a time!

Saying Good-bye is So Very Hard to Do

 

       How do I say good-bye to kids that have been part of my every thought for the past three years? I have become a person in their lives that has not let them down. I have taught them that school is okay. That learning can happen and can even be fun! When we are in class, I think that for a little while we all forget our out of school circumstances. I think that we all have hope for  brighter futures When we are together we work hard to make sense of the Common Core Standards in all of our subjects.We don't bad mouth the Common Core because there are many solid learning objectives in them. Objectives that may open our minds to think deeply and critically. Objectives that will keep the kids talking to each other long after the school day has ended. Isn't this what we want?
     Tonight I am thinking critically and deeply. I didn't expect opportunity to knock mid school year. It's suppose to knock during the summer so there is a clear cut beginning and ending to the school year. Leaving mid school year seems unfair to my students but that's when my opportunity came. The trust that I have built with these students  is partly due to the fact that I am always fair to "my kids". They are my kids! I teach them, I discipline them, I do laundry for them, I feed them, comb their hair, call their parents with good calls and sometimes not so good calls. Their families are my families too. I understand that raising a family is difficult and expensive, and more so if there is only one parent. We all do the best we can.
    So what do I do? Do I answer the door with opportunity knocking? Do I break the news to my kids that they have to finish the year with someone new, causing sadness and anxiety in all of us. Or, do I say no to this opportunity and stay here until June hoping that opportunity comes knocking at my door again. This decision doesn't affect only me, yet the decision is only mine to make.
    Today I handed in my resignation. I had to do it quickly, without thinking too much about it. If I thought too much then I would have been overwhelmed with heartache over leaving a group of terrific kids! Quite honestly I learned more from them than they ever did from me. I have learned to never pass judgement on any of my students or their parents. Their biggest feat of the day is getting themselves to school. Outside of school they are often faced with adult problems and situations that deeply affect them but because they are children they are expected to go with the flow. School is their hope and mine that they can each ultimately find their own way with the skills they have learned in life and in school and run with it.
   Four days left. I have seen signs that "my kids" are anxious with my departure. We have talked a lot about it. They know that I care deeply about them. They know that I expect their full cooperation with their new teacher. I am hoping that technology and the U.S. Postal Service can keep us all in touch for many years to come. I'm hoping that their new teacher and I can connect our classrooms via Skype and do a lesson together. Perhaps all of my kids can make new friends long distance. Isn't technology great?
    Three and a half years ago, I took on a class full of holes and with my students, colleagues, and a few twitter friends made it whole. As I leave, it is my goal to find a way to keep each child in it whole. After I leave, I am no longer their teacher. I can only hope that I was able to plant enough seeds to keep these kids moving forward, beyond their personal circumstances, and to follow their wildest dreams! To the kids in room 215 a piece of my heart will always be with you.

Reflection By a Special Education Teacher.

 The older one gets in life, it seems like everything that has happened to the current point becomes more clearer. I'm elderly yet, but I believe that every experience good and challenging has brought me to the place I am today with greater awareness. I have worked in some form of education beginning before I left high school.  Back then, I was chosen to train and work with a young autistic child every Friday night. I knew from the moment I met this child that I was meant to work in Special Education. I pursued a B.S. in Special Education N-12, and obtained an Pennsylvania Instructional II teaching certificate. More recently I earned a M,Ed. in Literacy 5-12. It's my belief that education is non-ending. We learn new things every day. I have learned from coursework, reading, professional development, but most importantly from my students. As a teacher, I have learned to listen to my students auditorily and visually. To learn, a child must be heard. When a child acts out or shuts down it's because I am not reaching him or her in the way that the child needs, it is therefore my job to find the  right approach or strategy that speaks to this child.  I value each child, I will teach each child the skills that s/he needs, I will advocate for each child, and I will write appropriate IEP's for each child. At the end of the day I will take the whole of my experiences and reflect on what I can do the next day to make that day better for every child in my classroom. 

Special Olympics: Passing the Torch to the Happiest Place on Earth

        

 Smiles, sneakers, color coordinated t-shirt, cheers, flapping, dancing, hugs, singing, anticipation, pure joy, pride. The chill is in the air. Happy people are everywhere. Confidence is shown in the smiles on everyone's face. There's not a moment of doubt.  Hearts are filled with the anticipation of success. Everyone's a winner tonight. Everyone from the parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, teachers, coaches, athletes, aides, paraprofessionals, bus drivers, entertainers, politicians, fans, my son, my students, my colleagues, and me!
     Where am I you ask? The New York State Special Olympics opening ceremonies at the Glens Falls Civic Center. What a night! A huge stadium filled with fans carrying homemade posters. The floor filled with empty folding chairs waiting for the enthusiastic athletes to arrive. A stage decorated with colorful flags and banners, giant screens for video footage, and a grand torch unlit.

    Months of planning went into this big Special Olympic weekend. My small class of six was contacted last spring to head up the Special Olympic Icon Sales for the Whitehall, New York. My students take every task seriously. We watched a documentary on our smart board to see what special olympics is all about. My kids wanted to help our New York athletes. We made a bulletin board to support our friends and to advertise our icon sales.

    As always, our small school supported our efforts. Our hearts were made bigger from the generosity of the students, faculty, and community of the Whitehall Central School District. One tiny student who barely spoke three years ago became our Special Olympic Icon sale leader! She eagerly spoke over the loudspeaker during morning announcements to announce our sales. She bravely approached our new Principal and other faculty members for their help. She sat day in and day out at our icon sales table! She became our Special Olympic hero! That's the great thing about Special Olympics: we all become a little braver, a little more out-going, and win or lose, we are all winners. Then again, Special Olympics is all about heart.
     My first experience with Special Olympics was in Pennsylvania at the Devereux Foundation back in the 1980's. I helped to train athletes and went with them to their games. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Seeing my students, train, compete, and then win  olympic medals just brought tears to my eyes. Seeing them stand on the podium with the National Anthem playing and pride in their face and stance was truly priceless. 
   On October 16th my thoughts were with my former Devereux students, my current Whitehall students, our generous benefactors, and with my son Nate who was anticipating his very first Special Olympic games with me, as a fan. Tonight I was passing the torch to my son enlightening his heart with love for the Special Olympic games!
  Finally, it was time for the ceremonies to begin. Bagpipes were played.  Special Olympic athletes entered behind colorful banners representing each team. They waved and smiled to the crowds of fans. My son declared, "Mom this is the happiest place on earth. Thank you for bring me." It truly was the happiest place on earth. We listened an angel sing: Amber Macintosh sang the National Anthem, she herself is a Special Olympic Athlete. What an incredible voice! We listened to Senator Betty Little and Assemblyman Stec, along with other dignitaries speak to the athletes. We watched several dance and singing routines to honor the athletes. Then finally the torch run with police officers and correction officers. The torch was lit! The announcement "Let the Games Begin".  The Special Olympic torch had been passed making the Glens Falls Civic Center filled with love for the Special Olympics the happiest place on earth!

Bring History Alive with Art and Drama

          Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. (Abraham Lincoln) Three years and one and a half months ago I began teaching in a 12:1:1 classroom. I had twelve little faces and three aides staring up at me day after day, all day, to improve their skill and knowledge in: ELA. math, reading, science, social studies, and life skills. I had an eclectic group of children with multiple disabilities with a wonderful common strength...They all wanted to learn! They didn't know what a continent was, or a state, they couldn't tell me what their own state capital was. They did know who Abraham Lincoln was but only as the President with the tall hat. I quickly learned that teaching them was a balancing act of knowing when they were best at doing seat work, when they needed to get up and move, when they needed a brain break or a snack. I planned each lesson accordingly. I rarely heard moans and groans from kids who didn't want to learn. My runners stopped running from class. The kids quickly learned that their classroom was their safe place where they could be themselves but did have to follow the parameters of our "point system". There was only one part of the day where "my kids" lost interest...Social Studies"! Social Studies came right after lunch. My kids just wanted to chill out but I had to teach them social studies!
     Social Studies became my biggest challenge! Social Studies kept me up at night! Social Studies was my tempest in a teapot! I tried teaching map skills but even my aide moaned! We did a study of New York State which was beneficial but was not part of the regular curriculum. So during the holidays, we tried "Christmas Around the World." My idea was at least they will learn about different countries! We made paper suitcases. I gave each student a passport with their picture in it. I had different stamps for each country. Sounds like fun, right? It was, but phenomenal and memorable it was not! My kids still couldn't differentiate between a continent, country, state, city...town! We did activities to rectify this but it only helped short term.
    So, I went back to the beginning. I triple checked the NY standards for their grades (6th and 7th). I decided to find a way for them to learn American History. Sixth graders were suppose to learn Global History but how can they learn Global  History when they can't even tell me that Albany is the capital of New York State! I decided to teach American History and tie Global History inasmuch as possible. 
     It was mid-school year when we got started.  I taught my students how to write two column, guided notes. We began by studying explorers which definitely included Global History. We made a growing timeline along the wall.  Each student did a report on an a assigned reporter. They loved going to the library to do their research. They felt important because just like their peers they had a research project.
     There are two best parts to my story, the first one is coming now. Both best parts are important because it is me that learned the lesson!  When we got to the colonies, I decided that we shall make a model of Jamestown with popsicle sticks. The clouds that had hung over my social studies class all year floated away and the sun appeared! My kids loved building Jamestown! They used milk cartons from lunch covered in pretzel sticks  for buildings. They used Quaker round oatmeal boxes to build the bulwarks. They even landscaped their structure. Best of all because of their intense hands-on learning, they could name the buildings and sections of the fort!

Snowing at Jamestown by using microwaved Ivory soap from our science experiment!

     It's currently year three with my kiddos! We now love social studies! Let me tell you why! This is my second best part! We have recently been learning about the "French and Indian" War. I continue to use two-column, guided notes with blanks with the first letter of the word. The kids love to try to be the first one to guess what goes in the blank! When they do, they get extra points. I read the "stories" from their actual history textbook.  I very simply act out the lesson and then repeat it for the kids to act out! I then do very rudimentary drawings on my whiteboard to bring history to life!  The kids laugh at my lack of artistic talent, as I joke that I draw better than the art teacher! All information taught is straight from their history book, broken down in simpler language. The kids get it! They can repeat the stories! Just ask them why it wasn't a good idea for the British to wear red coats! They can tell you that and more! Social Studies  (History) has become a game where we all win!

Never Give Up!

    When days are rough, I sometimes need to remember my own motto, "NEVER GIVE UP"! I learned this motto on the first day, of my first, full time special education teaching job way back in 1984. First jobs toward one's career are the foundation for the rest of our days until we one day retire. I'm not anywhere near retirement, nor do I want to be, but my motto still rings true, "Never Give Up."

 
      Today is a particularly difficult day for me tied in to difficult, weeks, months, and years. It's a personal journey that isn't at the point of sharing and doubt it ever will be. Those who know of it, tell me to "Give up". The thing is, I can't.  If I give up I'm only failing myself, failing the other, and not fulfilling my motto of, "Never Give Up"! As in my first special education job, I have often received children who appeared so lost that there was no way to help them. 
       In my first job, I taught 8 boys all under the age of 16. I was also home caretaker for four of the boys. Since this was a residential setting, this meant that I had to come to work an hour early to help the boys clean-up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. All four boys were basically non-verbal, one had a few words. They were also both self-abusive and sometimes aggressive. 
    On my first day, I went with my Principal to meet my new students. While walking through the boys' residential home unit we found one, a rather large boy, about 5'5" weighing nearly 200 pounds, kneeling on the steps leading  to the second floor, leaning on his elbows. He was jabbering in his own language. He was blocking the stairway from both directions. Since this was a locked unit, the principal simply said this is "Douglas".:" He never stays with the group. If he leaves, let him go. He'll hurt you if you don't. He can't get out the facility is locked and fenced in." I simply nodded. I wasn't agreeing with her, I was matter-of-factly processing what she said. I finished the day, meeting all of my students, and colleagues. The school had two full time teachers, and an art and physical education teacher that traveled between schools. There were numerous house mothers/aides, a cook, and two laundry persons. This was not a job for the light-hearted. This was also not a job that I ever saw myself in, but here I was and I was determined to make a difference in these kids lives. I was going to figure out "Big Doug", and make sure he became part of the group.
   That first night, I couldn't sleep. I read the boys IEPs (Individual Education Plans) carefully. It appeared that all kinds of people came in and out of these boys lives. I literally had the kids that nobody else wanted. The last teacher was let go for tying the children to chairs with shoe strings! My mind kept wandering back to Doug and what brought him here and why he did he not want to be with people. Oddly, our birthdate was the same! 
     Day two began bright and early. I had to be at school before 7:00 am. The other employees were not responsive to me. I guess they saw too many other people come and go. I found Big Doug staring out his bedroom window. He was having a full conversation, complete with hand gestures, and head shakes all by himself. He was so adorable that I had to chuckle. I gingerly approached him because I didn't want him to bolt. I simply placed my hand gently on his shoulder and listened as if I understood. He didn't flee. 
     Eventually I had all four of my boys up, cleaned and dressed. My self-abusive autistic guy scratched me up pretty good right down my neck when I removed his mitts to get him dressed. He was a tough one, but we made it through. I held Big Doug's hand all the way to the breakfast table down stairs. We made it! The table was U shaped with Doug sitting in the U against the wall so he couldn't escape. Doug would sit in his chair while eating and bounce up and down while giggling. He was precious! After the boys finished eating, I cleaned them up at the table. We then exited to go to the school house which was directly next to the residential house. Doug made a break for it when we went outside! He ran to  picnic table put his knees on the bench and his elbows on the top and carried on his one man conversations! 
    I could see Doug from my classroom window. As I worked with my students 3 or 4 at a time I watched Doug walk between the picnic table to the fence all the while carrying on a full conversation. Finally a friendly adult, face, when the Physical education teacher came. He helped me collect Doug to get him to the gymnasium for gym class. After gym class, I fed the boys lunch. We then went upstairs to their living quarters for self-help skills (Brushing and flossing teeth, combing hair, clipping finger and toe nails and washing up.) Initially, I lost Doug on the stairs everyday, on our way to the boys living quarters! After self-help skills we had another class in the school house Doug would stay glued to the stairs! At the end of my work day I would bring "my boys" to the living room in the residential house to be with their night-time recreation counselor. He too told me don'y worry about Doug, that's just him, he does this to everybody.
    I did worry, and I did think. In fact Doug is all I thought about. I couldn't give up on this kid or his peers! Giving up on any of them just wasn't an option! Days went by,some better than others. I was scratched on a daily basis by my self-abusive, autistic boy with mitts, "Henry". Henry too had horrible days where he'd get his mitts and helmet off and totally self abuse himself. He'd bang his head on the wall, poke his thumb nails into his hears and slap his face repeatedly. I'd have to restrain him and/or bring him to our padded time out room. When doing this the other boys would watch an educational video within sight in the living room. Doug would usually go the the stairs on his knees and converse with himself. I always made sure that the boys knew I was there for them too.
    Weeks went by. My plan after much thinking, was that when Doug left the group, I would take the group to him. No matter where Doug landed, inside, outside, rain, snow or shine, we'd go with our school supplies to Doug. We of course dressed weather appropriately and made sure that Doug was too! We did many lessons at the picnic table and on the stairs! 
    As months passed, Doug greeted me with a hug in the morning! It was "our special time" to chat. He'd tell me stories and I'd respond with appropriate gestures and voice inflections! He'd laugh and I'd laugh, for real, this kid was so funny and good-hearted. Eventually Doug would take my hand. On the occasions he would bolt,he would willingly come back to class. I would go get him with my hand held out and he would grasp it.  He would talk all the way to class. 

     Now for the next to best part of my saga and the reason why, "I NEVER GIVE UP." Doug went months without leaving the group. So the group was allowed to go on field trips! I passed a driving test to drive the school van. We always took an aide with us. We went to the Philadelphia Zoo, Longwood Gardens, Special Olympics, the Strasburg Railroad, The Jersey shore to my house to make a spaghetti dinner and more. Sometimes we just went out for ice cream. It didn't matter, Doug was with us! 
  The best part...Doug didn't need to be in a locked facility any more! Doug got to move on to another residential unit with out fences all the way around! His mother could come to visit and actually take him out. Doug was happy. Everyone in Doug's life was happy. I was happy too. Every now and then I would see Doug on campus and he would bolt, right to me with a great big Doug, bear hug! Then back to his group he'd go! My motto is, "NEVER GIVE UP". Small steps for some are miracles for others.