My "Why" In Special Education

   I was a teacher of special education in New York for 8 and a half years. I loved my self-contained classroom. I loved my colleagues. I worked in the same school that I had graduated from. On paper it sounds like a win-win situation, right? In so many ways, it was. The town I taught in is nestled quite comfortably in the Adirondack mountains and borders Vermont. Picturesque, most definitely, mostly. The town is plagued with poverty. The impoverished homes are not so pretty.  It is riddled with the haves versus the have-nots. The nearest grocery store and hospital is 25 miles away. There are no clothing stores. There is a pharmacy. My students were the have-nots! I worked tirelessly to change this. In a small way, I did. I made sure that my students were not openly teased. In my classroom all were equal. I worked feverishly to bring my students out of the back corner of the school building and into the limelight! I did just this! We made the television news and the newspaper for our work with: The Not Perfect Hat Club, Special Olympics, and raising money to help the people of Nepal build a new school after their devastating earthquake in 2015. My students became champions!

   Then, my long-time friend in Pennsylvania called me to tell me about a classroom that was perfect for me! A middle school/high school life skills class. My dream was to build a better future for all special education students everywhere! I also wanted my husband to see beyond the small town that he had always lived in. It would be nice to live in an area with amenities. I pondered deeply about what I should do. I didn't really want to leave my New York students, but I also believe in taking chances to better myself. I left New York for Pennsylvania with sadness, trepidation, and hope. I didn't just hope for myself, I hoped that my New York students that I had nurtured for over three years would continue to blossom.  

   My new classroom in Pennsylvania was truly my dream job. Again, I found myself in an impoverish town but this town did have ample amenities. My husband was a changed man! He loved Pennsylvania! The grocery store was less than a mile away! What a treat! My new students of course tested me but I had two competent paraeducators who helped ease me into my new school and classroom. I also went from a public school system to a education company. This was a very big change!

   Did I keep in touch with my New York students? Of course!  Each year I made a reading chain in my classroom. The student earns a ring for every book read. I made this a contest between schools! The kids even started making cards for each other! We Skyped! It was wonderful! I won't say which class won, because to me, every person who chooses to read is a winner!

   My joy was short lived! I work for an education company. After two and a half years in my new school. The school decided to take their classes back from the company that I work for. Devastated? Oh, yes! Scared? Yes! Sad? Most definitely. My new class had come so far! They became independent. They learned to write! They went from crying and having tantrums about writing to writing paragraphs! We had a Makerspace! Also, I had began the first ever Unified, Special Olympic Bocce team for the school. We won the bronze medal! I had a student going to regular Algebra class! So much good was happening in this classroom! Alas, there was nothing I could do! I had to say good-bye!

   I was transferred to another program within my company. I would be beginning again in another new school. I was going to the infamous Autism Support program. I was quite nervous to say the least, but decided to give this a try! I poured over my new students IEPs. They are all in a center based program because they are aggressive. I would need to learn Verbal Behavior-Milestones Assessment and Placement Program by Mark Sundberg, Ph.D.. I would become a part of the Pennsylvania Autism Initiative Program.  I would lead a staff of 8. My question, "How can I lead when I don't know the program?". 

     I won't lie, this year has been the most difficult of my 22 years teaching and 35 years in education! Did I learn? Yes! Did I learn more? Yes! Do I still need to learn more? Always! Did I give up? No way! I never would.The best part is that my staff truly respect me! We became a family!

     My most valuable lesson is how valuable my students are. They are precious. They are so beautifully themselves! They don't care what anybody else thinks, they are always true to who they are! Did they become aggressive toward me! Yes! Yes, they did! Was it my fault? No! Like I said, they are true to who they are. Their aggressive ways are how they express themselves. My job is to find ways to avoid and/or cope with the aggression.  My job is to teach them ways to communicate so that they can express their wants and needs better. 

    It has been a hard year! I truly needed the support of my special education consultant, my board certified behavior analyst, the behavior support assistants, my paraeducator, my personal care assistants, the speech pathologist, my therapeutic support staff, the other Autism Support Teachers, and my student's parents! Thank you! My staff is amazing! My staff works so incredibly hard every day. Our job is not glamorous. We can't wear pretty teacher clothes or jewelry. My only hair style is to wear my hair pulled back so that just maybe it doesn't get pulled! We wear arm guards to protect us from bites and pinches.  I think I have been bruised since day one! We do toileting duties. I have a student who vomits multiple times a day. My students will not say "thank you". Yet, actually they do! I see little smiles when they see me. They calm down when I am make their discomfort, better. I may get hit, kicked,  pinched, or punched  but at the end of the day I do realize that this is why they are here and if they feel the need to do this then inside they are uncomfortable too. I see peace in their eyes when they see that I am there. I know that days I am not there are harder for my staff and my students. I have always prayed to teach the kids who need me the most. These are the kids who need me the most. We work hard in my classroom. We follow a comprehensive schedule, faithfully. My students need structure and routine and we provide this continuously. My class is learning life skills. This is new to them, they are learning through task analysis. Their lives are improving!

    My heart is in turmoil because I am searching for the next group of kids who need me the most. Again, I love my current kids and all of my former kids! If I move on great. If I do not move on, also great because this is where I need to be.  I truly want to teach in the field of special education forever! My goal is to always leave my classroom and my students better off than when I started. I always do this! I am also always grateful to the parents who entrust me with their most cherished blessing everyday.

   My "why" is because all kids whether special or not need a champion and need hope. My vow is to never give up on kids! 

   

In Special Education: Love is What Matters Most

   There is one thing that I believe almost more than anything else, special education matters. I have been a special education teacher for 34 years and have never doubted that this career was my calling. Thirty four years later plus the four in undergraduate studies, and I have never forgotten any of the precious children that walked through my classroom door. Each one has offered me insight to the human connection and beyond!

   My very first "student" was Jonathan. He was a four year old autistic boy. I was still in high school. It was believed by Jonathan's special education teacher that he needed more human involvement beyond that given by his parents and teacher. She developed a program to give Jonathan more time to learn about himself and the world around him. She interviewed and gathered five student volunteers who would work with Jonathan one night each. My night was Friday evenings.
 

Raun and his mom, Suzi.

Raun and his dad, Barry

    We were trained mostly by reading the novel, Son-Rise, written by Barry Neil Kaufman. Barry Kaufman wrote this book in 1976. The year I began working with Jonathan was 1978. Against all odds and all professional advice, Barry and his wife, Suzi, refused to stop loving, trying, or hoping that their son, Raun, would leave the safety of his quiet, autistic world and gradually share his life with their family. Barry Kaufman recorded their journey. Their steadfast love and tireless work ethic gave Raun back to his family. This is truly a story about love, and family. Jonathan's story was about love and family too. Jonathan's parents were devoted to him. They converted their home into a haven where Jonathan could feel safe, happy, and loved. As I entered Jonathan's home, there was a tire swing between the living room and kitchen. It was there that I would greet Jonathan every Friday evening. Jonathan showed me what my calling was. My original plan was to become a registered nurse. Jonathan taught me that there was a different career that I belonged in, special education.

   Early on in my career, I learned that in special education as in all education, love is what matters most. If their isn't love behind what we are teaching then their is little chance that the student will gain progress. Special education requires  tenacity, dedication, and persistence with a foundation of doing what you know is right in your heart. It is not for the weak of heart. A special educator must be gentle, yet firm and fair.  Repetition and routine go a long way in building new skills. Practice really does make perfect!
   There is one thing about Special education that is bothering me  lately. I guess, that this "thing" is happening throughout all of education, really. This "thing" is called paperwork. This is my opinion about that. I believe wholeheartedly in Individual Education Plans (IEPs) for special education students. IEPs are after all kind of like road maps that direct teachers and special education providers on the right path when working with new students. IEPs make sure that that students receive all of the services that they need. IEPs protect the child. I also believe in data collection. I believe that the data shows us how the child is doing and takes us to where the child needs to go next. I believe in progress reports, because parents absolutely deserve to know how their child is doing. I even believe in some testing! Again, I believe that tests can be like a road map to tell us where the child and the teacher need to go next! Tests should really be for the teacher to see how well his/her teaching is reaching the students. If the lessons are not reaching the students, then the teacher may want to review his/her delivery style. That's it! This is where I believe the paper work should end except for the occasional incident report or field trip form!  Lesson plans are really for the teacher to guide their lessons. Teachers should have them of course, but should be allowed to write them in a way that makes the most sense to them. Administrators should ask to see lesson plans during observations, but the teacher's creativity and thought process should be allowed to shine on the lesson plans.
   I saw a quote recently from "Kindness is Magic" in Queensland, Australia. "Over-planning kills magic." I agree with this quote! My favorite thing to do is to plan amazing, interesting lessons that make memories for the students! Too much paperwork takes away from the time teachers have to plan highly-effective, creative lessons that are aimed at the student population.Too much paperwork limits the time that teachers have to go above and beyond to do what they love best...create magical lessons! I want to bring the magic and the love back in to education!
   Teaching is fun, and can be so magical! Special education matters. That one "thing", paperwork, matters too, in moderation.  It's important to remember though, that above all however, let us not forget, that every child matters. Every child matters with no judgement;only acceptance. If Barry Neil Kaufman, Raun Kaufman, Jonathan, and all of my current and former students have taught me anything: In Special education, love is what matters most.

Never Give Up!

    When days are rough, I sometimes need to remember my own motto, "NEVER GIVE UP"! I learned this motto on the first day, of my first, full time special education teaching job way back in 1984. First jobs toward one's career are the foundation for the rest of our days until we one day retire. I'm not anywhere near retirement, nor do I want to be, but my motto still rings true, "Never Give Up."

 
      Today is a particularly difficult day for me tied in to difficult, weeks, months, and years. It's a personal journey that isn't at the point of sharing and doubt it ever will be. Those who know of it, tell me to "Give up". The thing is, I can't.  If I give up I'm only failing myself, failing the other, and not fulfilling my motto of, "Never Give Up"! As in my first special education job, I have often received children who appeared so lost that there was no way to help them. 
       In my first job, I taught 8 boys all under the age of 16. I was also home caretaker for four of the boys. Since this was a residential setting, this meant that I had to come to work an hour early to help the boys clean-up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. All four boys were basically non-verbal, one had a few words. They were also both self-abusive and sometimes aggressive. 
    On my first day, I went with my Principal to meet my new students. While walking through the boys' residential home unit we found one, a rather large boy, about 5'5" weighing nearly 200 pounds, kneeling on the steps leading  to the second floor, leaning on his elbows. He was jabbering in his own language. He was blocking the stairway from both directions. Since this was a locked unit, the principal simply said this is "Douglas".:" He never stays with the group. If he leaves, let him go. He'll hurt you if you don't. He can't get out the facility is locked and fenced in." I simply nodded. I wasn't agreeing with her, I was matter-of-factly processing what she said. I finished the day, meeting all of my students, and colleagues. The school had two full time teachers, and an art and physical education teacher that traveled between schools. There were numerous house mothers/aides, a cook, and two laundry persons. This was not a job for the light-hearted. This was also not a job that I ever saw myself in, but here I was and I was determined to make a difference in these kids lives. I was going to figure out "Big Doug", and make sure he became part of the group.
   That first night, I couldn't sleep. I read the boys IEPs (Individual Education Plans) carefully. It appeared that all kinds of people came in and out of these boys lives. I literally had the kids that nobody else wanted. The last teacher was let go for tying the children to chairs with shoe strings! My mind kept wandering back to Doug and what brought him here and why he did he not want to be with people. Oddly, our birthdate was the same! 
     Day two began bright and early. I had to be at school before 7:00 am. The other employees were not responsive to me. I guess they saw too many other people come and go. I found Big Doug staring out his bedroom window. He was having a full conversation, complete with hand gestures, and head shakes all by himself. He was so adorable that I had to chuckle. I gingerly approached him because I didn't want him to bolt. I simply placed my hand gently on his shoulder and listened as if I understood. He didn't flee. 
     Eventually I had all four of my boys up, cleaned and dressed. My self-abusive autistic guy scratched me up pretty good right down my neck when I removed his mitts to get him dressed. He was a tough one, but we made it through. I held Big Doug's hand all the way to the breakfast table down stairs. We made it! The table was U shaped with Doug sitting in the U against the wall so he couldn't escape. Doug would sit in his chair while eating and bounce up and down while giggling. He was precious! After the boys finished eating, I cleaned them up at the table. We then exited to go to the school house which was directly next to the residential house. Doug made a break for it when we went outside! He ran to  picnic table put his knees on the bench and his elbows on the top and carried on his one man conversations! 
    I could see Doug from my classroom window. As I worked with my students 3 or 4 at a time I watched Doug walk between the picnic table to the fence all the while carrying on a full conversation. Finally a friendly adult, face, when the Physical education teacher came. He helped me collect Doug to get him to the gymnasium for gym class. After gym class, I fed the boys lunch. We then went upstairs to their living quarters for self-help skills (Brushing and flossing teeth, combing hair, clipping finger and toe nails and washing up.) Initially, I lost Doug on the stairs everyday, on our way to the boys living quarters! After self-help skills we had another class in the school house Doug would stay glued to the stairs! At the end of my work day I would bring "my boys" to the living room in the residential house to be with their night-time recreation counselor. He too told me don'y worry about Doug, that's just him, he does this to everybody.
    I did worry, and I did think. In fact Doug is all I thought about. I couldn't give up on this kid or his peers! Giving up on any of them just wasn't an option! Days went by,some better than others. I was scratched on a daily basis by my self-abusive, autistic boy with mitts, "Henry". Henry too had horrible days where he'd get his mitts and helmet off and totally self abuse himself. He'd bang his head on the wall, poke his thumb nails into his hears and slap his face repeatedly. I'd have to restrain him and/or bring him to our padded time out room. When doing this the other boys would watch an educational video within sight in the living room. Doug would usually go the the stairs on his knees and converse with himself. I always made sure that the boys knew I was there for them too.
    Weeks went by. My plan after much thinking, was that when Doug left the group, I would take the group to him. No matter where Doug landed, inside, outside, rain, snow or shine, we'd go with our school supplies to Doug. We of course dressed weather appropriately and made sure that Doug was too! We did many lessons at the picnic table and on the stairs! 
    As months passed, Doug greeted me with a hug in the morning! It was "our special time" to chat. He'd tell me stories and I'd respond with appropriate gestures and voice inflections! He'd laugh and I'd laugh, for real, this kid was so funny and good-hearted. Eventually Doug would take my hand. On the occasions he would bolt,he would willingly come back to class. I would go get him with my hand held out and he would grasp it.  He would talk all the way to class. 

     Now for the next to best part of my saga and the reason why, "I NEVER GIVE UP." Doug went months without leaving the group. So the group was allowed to go on field trips! I passed a driving test to drive the school van. We always took an aide with us. We went to the Philadelphia Zoo, Longwood Gardens, Special Olympics, the Strasburg Railroad, The Jersey shore to my house to make a spaghetti dinner and more. Sometimes we just went out for ice cream. It didn't matter, Doug was with us! 
  The best part...Doug didn't need to be in a locked facility any more! Doug got to move on to another residential unit with out fences all the way around! His mother could come to visit and actually take him out. Doug was happy. Everyone in Doug's life was happy. I was happy too. Every now and then I would see Doug on campus and he would bolt, right to me with a great big Doug, bear hug! Then back to his group he'd go! My motto is, "NEVER GIVE UP". Small steps for some are miracles for others.